None worth saying
ONLY IN AMERICA. . .
…can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
…do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy
cigarettes at the front.
…do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a
…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens
to the counters.
…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the
driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
…do we use answering machines to screen calls then have
call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t
want to talk to in the first place.
…do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in
ckages of eight.
… do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on “Start”?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?Words
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