“I want to believe in religion and hazard and a universe where you can stand beneath the gray October sky and blink your ain colorss through the air like a magician” ( 218 -221, p. 6 ) . These beautiful lines constitute the concluding decision of the short narrative, “The Juggler” , written by Ursula Hegi and published in 2001. The narrative trades with subjects such as beauty, allowing spells and being stuck in the yesteryear.
The short narrative takes topographic point in Coeur d’ Alene in the first weekend of October. An nameless first individual storyteller tells the narrative of her girl, Zoe and her fellow, Michael who have come to see her. It is the first clip she meets Michael, who is a counselor at the school where her girl Teachs. They go to the film and on a beautiful canoe trip together. Michael seems to be a really nice cat and Zoe loves him. What separates Michael from the bulk, nevertheless, is the fact that he is turning blind.
The female parent seems to hold a really hard clip managing this, which is seen in her interior monologue “I like him ( Michael ) – or, instead ; I could wish him, if merely he were non turning blind. Or if he were non with my girl. I want more for Zoe.” ( ll. 115-117, p. 4 ) . It besides seems as if she has aspirations on behalf of her girl “I want more for Zoe” . We are told that Zoe’s male parent left the household when she was really immature. Possibly the mother’s dreams and aspirations vanished with her housebound/boyfriend. Therefore, she now lives her life trough her girl and has resigned and about accepted that she is in the fall of her life unable to see the colorss of the universe.
Another ground for her to dislike Michael is the obvious fact that he is stealing Zoe off. This seems to be her chief issue with him. She thinks that he, due to his disability, requires excessively much attending from Zoe, “He’ll need you far excessively much” ( l. 177, p. 5 ) . To this Zoe answers, “That should experience familiar, then” ( l. 178, p. 5 ) as a mention to what leads to another of import issue in the text ; the storyteller has, of all time since Zoe’s male parent left her, been really dependent on Zoe. This is suggested in one of her watercourses of consciousness, “Sometimes I felt Zoe and I were turning up together. Other times I felt like I were eleven and she thirty” ( ll. 91 – 92, p. 3 ) . The female parent about bursts into self-oscillation when she tells Michael about her memories with Zoe. This could take to the decision that Zoe is used to taking duty for other people and, seen from a nubby psychological point of position, possibly likes the fact that Michael reminds her of her female parent in the manner that he needs her.
Another consequence of the mother’s solitariness and dependence on her girl is the fact that she can non allow her spell. She lives in the past and loves the memories of a clip she refuses to go forth, nor can she of all time leave it unless she accepts the fact that Zoe is now a grown up. She has her ain life now. The bird has flown. So possibly she should merely manage her over to Michael. After all he is non a maniac slayer or anything. He seems instead nice and Zoe truly loves him, but the storyteller merely is excessively covetous to be happy for her girl, “Zoe turns, smiling at him with so much visible radiation in her eyes that I have to look away” ( ll. 74 – 75, p. 3 ) .
The author leaves, in a really distinct but intelligent and terribly interesting manner, many symbols and inside informations for farther reading. For case, a ocular description of the storyteller has been left out. Therefore, she appears as a set of ideas, which on one side means that the events that take topographic point in the narrative frequently are followed by the narrator’s watercourse of consciousness, which work absolutely good and gives the reader a great apprehension of the mother’s actions and issues. However, on the other side it creates a paradox and it is really dry seen in relation to the mother’s bias towards Michael’s sightlessness. We do non see her from the outside. We merely see her from the interior. In other words, we see her precisely as Michael would see her. This makes her a victim of a “blind reader” . It is a amusing and interesting item from the author. Another paradox is the fact that the storyteller plays the cello and when Zoe & A ; Michael leaves and she finds herself in desperation she listens to Vivaldi. It is amusing how she finds comfort in something audial, music, when she sees Michael’s sightlessness as something finite, as the terminal of beauty.
Possibly the most of import symbol is, as the rubric suggests, the Juggler who kind of frames the narrative. At the beginning Michael, Zoe and the female parent are traveling to the film. On their manner to the film the storyteller sees a adult male who juggles smilingly with a basin and some blades. Suddenly, he loses the basin and the storyteller appreciation Michael’s shoulder as were she frightened by the fact that the juggler had failed. At the terminal of the narrative the storyteller sees the juggler once more but this clip she has got a new realisation. She envies his bravery, “Whenever he drops something, he smiles and reaches down and jugglings one time once more ( … ) . And without fright. Fear of being ridiculed ( … ) ” ( ll. 111 – 216, p. 6 ) She besides reflects on the fact that he allways jugglings with two of one sort and one of another. As if an equal three is impossible. As if a three requires differences. Possibly Michael, Zoe and the storyteller are all the “one of a another” and the “two of one kind” at the same clip.
Watching the Juggler leads to the improbably beautiful stoping sentence that reveals some grade of sorrow in the female parent. “I want to believe in religion and hazard and a universe where you can stand beneath the gray October sky and blink your ain colourss through the air like a magician” ( 218 -221, p. 6 ) . Make these ideas non sum up the nucleus of life? Faith and hazard. Roman philosopher, Lucius Annaeus Seneca one time said, ”Luck is what happens when readying meets opportunity” in other words you have to maintain an unfastened head and be ready to take your opportunities when they occur – we make our ain fortune. It is non plenty to sit and wait for your bend. You have to face life! You have to contend a small. The female parent blows her opportunities.
Beauty is all around her ; The Juggler who is non afraid of neglecting, the fantastic idyllic canoe trip, her girl who is frantically in love with a good adult male who makes her eyes visible radiation like phosphorescence in the see of the dark. Is that non the dream of any parent, to see your kid happy? Ironically, she realizes this to late, which is the common issue in life. It is ever about timing and balance like beguiling. Like blinking your colorss in the fall of your life. Like allowing your beloved child fly on and experience happiness. Like withstanding the ceaseless storms of desperation and uncertainness. Like life.
Beauty takes hazards.